Honesty

Sometime in college I decided that being honest was funny. It worked for a while, then it gradually became apart of the way I act all the time. Sometimes something mean will just slip out. As a result, I had this exchange today after running into a girl I used to work with after two years:

Girl: So what are you doing now?
Kevin: I work at Connected Ventures, Collegehumor
Girl: That sounds fun!
Kevin: It is. What do you do?
Girl: I work at an investment banking firm
Kevin: Oh, that sounds boring.

By far the best thing I've ever said to anyone happened when I was still in high school (and it had nothing to do with honesty). I was at the beach with friends. One of my friends had started flirting with a very cute girl and it was going well. My group of friends and hers were meshing a bit and I was kind of keeping to myself because I'm shy or something. The cute girl my friend was flirting with came over to me and we had this brief conversation:

CGMFWFW: So, why are you so quiet?
Kevin: I'm scared of you.
CGMFWFW: Scared of me? Why?
Kevin: Because you're so ...

We need to pause here. Now, I was clearly joking from the beginning. Right here I was searching my mind for a word that meant muscley. I was stumped for a minute, then I thought I had it.

Kevin: Because you're so butch.
CGMFWFW: Ugh!

I immediately realized that tough and butch were not the same thing and tried to correct myself, but it was too late. My friend never heard from her again.

That One's a Keeper

Justin at CV has been taking incredible pictures of everyone at work (like this one) for a project he's doing. I love it! Ted and I need to start a band now so we can use this.

Rock and F-wording Roll

I got a new guitar today! It's a Gretsch Electromatic hollow-body electric. I've yet to name her.

Nerd Alert

I'm currently reformatting my windows PC for the sole purpose of running Half Life 2 better. I know how cool that sounds.

Also, in the most recent edition of the CV inter-office newsletter I included this joke, which I don't think anyone got, but I think is really funny.

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(click here for online decoder pin)

Aftermath

Today's Bet on Vimeo.

The diabetes I was referring to in my last post was after I completed a bet involving eating a half pound of a 2 pound orange, milk-chocolate pumpkin for $50. Four CVers attempted it, I was the only one who didn't puke.

Ow, my kidneys

I never believed it was possible to get "sugar high" until right at this moment. I hope I don't get diabetes.

Everyone has a roommate story

How Many Classes Are You Going To Fail This Semester?

My freshman year roommate was a monster. I don't mean he was mean. He was fat and he smelled. If the pillsbury dough boy smelled like arm-pits instead of muffins, and shopped at Hot Topic you'd have Greg (name changed), my old roommate. Somewhere inside of Greg was a good guy, but he was inconsiderate and in no way ready to live away from home.

Around mid-terms of our first semester Greg realized that he had missed too many classes and tests to pass anything. He spoke with his advisor and they decided the best course of action would be for him to take a leave of absence. This meant he wouldn't get any credits and it wouldn't affect his GPA. I was happy because it meant he would leave school and I'd have the room to myself for half a semester. At least, that's what should have happened.

Fearing backlash and disappointment, Greg decided not tell his parents that he used their tuition money to sleep and play Magic: the Gathering. The school forgot to kick him off campus, too. I spent the rest of the semester with a roommate who slept from 10 am to 8 pm and watched anime and played video games during the hours when a normal human being (me) would be sleeping. My dislike for him grew steadily as time went by. I made a point not to even speak to him for the majority of the second semester.

Greg didn't come back to school for his sophomore year. As far as I know he dropped out to train to be a cop, like his dad. I don't know how people that out of shape can pass a fitness test so I'm not sure what actually ended up happening to him.

I mention Greg now because he seems to keep popping up in the CollegeHumor Quiz column I write. At least he was good for something.

It was true that I could tell if he was in the room or not before I opened the door by the smell.